All Aboard the BiPolar Express!

Even after all these years…

I should have known something was offbut ignorance is bliss; or so they say. After yet another glorious summer full of love, laughter and unforgettable memories I thought finally my luck was changing and life would be good. However, fate had different ideas in mind. In the course of a week everything I thought I knew to be true came crashing down around me.

I was left feeling woozy and unsteady, like the time I came out from anesthesia after having a dental post put in. I wasn’t sure how I got there or why I was even there. The world felt dreamlike and surreal, I didn’t know how to cope or function. The fact of the matter was we’d known each other our whole lives!

What about all the good times we had together?

All our dirty little secrets?

Our most embarrassing moments?

The inside jokes?

Suddenly I was left questioning everything.

Like the scene of an old movie I woke in the dead of night, empty and alone. Remnants of her presence were strewn about the house, as I assume she left in a hurry. I picture her from time to time, I imagine her planning to leave for weeks, finding an old suitcase that she discretely hides in the back of the closet, slowly adding her essential belongings to it. I think about her silently slipping away from me while I sleep, tiptoeing down the hall where she quietly opens the closet door and dons her favorite black trench coat before extricating her well concealed suitcase. She walks lightly on the wood floors to the front door, slips on her shoes, takes one last look around our place, her coat whips behind her as she stealthily turns on a breathless exhale and walks out the front door (and my life).

I envision her running onto a train platform, suitcase clutched tightly to her chest, her eyes wild with determination and excitement for what awaits. Without a backward glance she hands her ticket to the conductor and boards the one-way midnight train to Crazy Town. Just like that, she was gone. My beautiful, silly, sexy, 19 year old brain left me in the dust.

Now what?!


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